Death of an Addiction -- Day 0 You know, there's one thing about sharing your struggles in a public kind of way ... you also share your heart, your weakness and even your dispair. I wish I had some really miraculous news ... well, I do but I don't. I guess the miraculous part of this journey is that I've learned so much about my own heart ... and just a little bit more about God (but honestly, don't you think that the more you learn about God -- the more you realize you didn't know a thing about God!). I've learned how weak and dependent I really need to be in order for the words "yes, I trust God" to really mean something. And to understand that ... I've had to look at the height to which I have risen with pride and selfishness ... always wanting what I want. Happy to have the blessings ... unwilling to follow Jesus when there was suffering. What I've learned about God is that He is definitely not like us. We may be made in His image ... but man, His ways are so different than ours. I've also learned that I can't manipulate or bully Him into doing what I want I've known the tenderness and the love of the Lord ... but in this season, I needed to see and understand the authority of the Lord in my life. He really does have a plan for me ... for my life and for the transformation of my character. He is patient and He is kind ... but He does mean business. If I had experienced this part of the Lord's character at first ... this would be a different story. I probably would have ran screaming ... but the Lord is wise and He knows that we are really just dust. Instead ... I was wooed, courted, loved and a firm foundation was built in my heart. THEN He dropped the hammer! No, I'm just kidding. He loves me enough not to leave me the way that He found me. I much prefer the "powder" method ... but I guess, spiritually, we all reach a place where you gotta toughen up and realize that we have a part to play with this relationship with the Lord too. Our part is to allow the Lord to mold us. And, yes, it is very painful sometimes ... Honestly, I had no idea what was deep inside of my heart. But through this last season, the Lord has definitely put the squeeze on ... and all kinds of crude has come up. Despite my best attempts to wiggle out of looking at it ... I have looked at it. It has changed me ... maybe just a little bit ... but I do see the change. I like what one of the devotionals said today: When it comes to spiritual matters -- God is the Potter, the Creator, and we are the clay. The world says we should never give up our rights because if we do, we will lose everything! God says, "Give up your rights and you will gain everything!" When we surrender, we gain everything that is important. In order for God to make us into what He wants us to be, we have to become pliable and willing - like clay. We must come to Him, placing ourselves in His hands, the Potter's hands. Total surrender demands that we come with no agenda, no pre-set conditions -- giving Him permission to bend us, break us and change us. We sometimes come to God, with a hardened heart and brittle spirit. Life has broken and damaged us and the wrong hands have molded us. Remember, how we come to Him is not nearly as important as the fact that we come. As we give up control to Him, like a Master Craftsman, He begins to work patiently and lovingly, with a specific plan and one-of-a-kind design in mind. He works through circumstances as well as people, through joy and pain, victory and defeat. He filters every part of life through His plan for us and uses it to create a life of worth and meaning. Oh, we have tried to live life with our own agenda and plan and have experienced discontentment and frustration. Our soul longs for more and our heart cries out, "Is this all there is?" The truth is that nothing and no one but God can bring us the peace and joy for which we searching. Are you ready to become the clay, surrendering your broken life to the Potter's loving and purpose-filled hands? Today is the day! | 